Man In The Pew

For men who seek to follow Jesus in all of life - at work, at home, at church, and at play

How to Recover After You’ve Hit Rock Bottom with Angus Nelson MITP044

How to Recover After You’ve Hit Rock Bottom with Angus Nelson MITP044

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What is the path to recovery after you’ve hit rock bottom?

What do you do after you self-destruct? Will God still accept you? Is there a reason to be hopeful?

Angus Nelson ruined his first marriage and wallowed in the pit of despair for three years. He had to resign from his ministry positions. People asked behind his back what he was going to destroy next.

It seemed pointless to keep trying.

Then he discovered God’s undeserved grace. He realized that the gospel changes you forever and it happens every day.

It can change you too.

ABOUT THIS SHOW:

  • Under how Angus went from a highly successful ministry to the pit of despair
  • Learn the 8 tips Angus shares for recovering from rock bottom
  • Get inspired to embrace your next crisis with the question, “What does this make possible?”

HOW TO RECOVER FROM ROCK BOTTOM

#1: Ask yourself “What does this make possible?”

Every tragedy can lead to a silver lining. Instead of focusing on the tragedy or pain, ask yourself what this makes possible and pursue that.

#2: You no longer have to be afraid. You’re already hit rock bottom and survived.

Since you’ve endured some of the worst of what life could offer, you have a resilience that few others have. Trust God and say “bring it on.”

John Eldridge inWild at Heart says every man asks this question, “Am I really a man? Have I got what it takes when it counts?”

#3: Admit that you need others

If you want to have good friends, you must become a good friend.

#4: Be committed to personal growth.

Become very selective about what you read, hear, and watch. Avoid those things that become a distraction. Feed upon those things

“If you hang out with chickens, you become a chicken. If you hang out with eagles, you’ll become an eagle.”

“I want to be the dumbest person in every room and have determined to be a lifelong learner.”

#5: Take on a victorious mindset.

Crisis is meant to build us up. You have Chris in you who is greater than He who is in the world.

Colossians 1:27: “To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

#6: Embrace pain as part of the path to growth

We mix up pain and pleasure all the time. Working out and reading can seem painful in the short-term, but they lead to growth. Watching movies or porn can seem easy in the short run, but they are easy and won’t lead to growth. They actually lead to destruction.

#7: Forgive yourself and those around you.

#8: Remember the importance of your heart.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,
   and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
   Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. –PSALM 40:1-3 (ESV)

QUOTES:

Matthew 11:28-30: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (The Message)

OTHER HELPFUL EPISODES:

Warren Peterson: http://maninthepew.com/success-suicide-significance-warren-peterson/

Scott Beebe: http://maninthepew.com/create-vision-story-scott-beebe-mitp041/ 

RESOURCES:

Wild at Heart by John Eldridge

You Have What It Takes by John Eldridge

Love’s Compass by Angus Nelson

Angus Nelson site

ABOUT ANGUS:

Angus Nelson lives in Nashville, Tennessee with his wife and three children. His desire to develop others has led him to travel to five continents and twelve countries, a life that has been anything but boring. He’s served as youth leader, worship leader, counselor, speaker, and now, writer. In addition, he’s been a waiter, ski resort ticket checker, carpenter, telemarketer, and landscaper. He’s hosed chili vats, stuffed wood chips in bags, sold health club memberships, told off Jean-Claude Van Damme, and even helped Bruce Willis call his bookie once. As a motivational speaker, Angus has ranked in the top 5% of Monster.com’s “Make It Count” high school program and is currently available for college, corporate, and conference speaking events.

How to Stop Drifting Apart in Your Marriage with Dr. Harold Arnold MITP043

How to Stop Drifting Apart in Your Marriage with Dr. Harold Arnold MITP043

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Do you feel like you’re drifting apart in your marriage?

You’re not alone. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce and many more are in survival mode.

It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, that’s not how God designed marriage. He created marriage to be a picture of unity and love. He made us to be one flesh.

The problem is that the enemy seeks to divide and conquer us so we will less effective together than we are apart.

In God’s economy, one plus one equals 3 or more, but Satan seeks to change that math and make it one plus one equals less than one.

What’s the state of your marital math?

In this episode, Dr. Harold Arnold of the Leading You Home podcast talks about several ways we can work to stop drifting apart in our marriages. This is an important message for men and for women.

ABOUT THIS SHOW:

  • Marriage is the battleground between God and Satan
  • Defining your unfair advantage in marriage
  • Tools to stop drifting apart in our marriages

HOW TO STOP DRIFTING APART

None of us can have a great marriage without the grace of Jesus Christ.

What does it look like to have a faith that is shared? What is God calling my wife and me to?

[clickToTweet tweet=”Marriage is a stage where the mortal battle between God and Satan is on display. @drharoldarnold” quote=”Marriage is a stage where the mortal battle between God and Satan is on display.”]

How to Reverse Marital Drift

#1: Prioritize how we serve our spouses

[clickToTweet tweet=”Many offer unacceptable offerings in our marriages but ask why we don’t see change @drharoldarnold” quote=” Many of us are offering unacceptable offerings in our marriages, but keep asking the Lord why we don’t see change.”]

#2: Seek your wife’s spiritual growth

It’s not wrong to seek your own spiritual growth, but your marriage is the first and most important place for you to become a spiritual leader.

#3: Lean into your unfair advantage: Christ in you. 

Have you forgotten that you were cleansed by Christ’s blood? Rehearse the gospel daily.

#4: Practice the faith cycle found in 2 Peter 1

2 Peter 1:5-7: For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.

ABOUT DR HAROLD ARNOLD

Dr. Harold Arnold is founder of the Pursuit of Influence, the host of the Leading You Home podcast, and author of four books, including Second Shift, Marriage ROCKS and The Unfair Advantage.

EPISODES REFERENCED:

Hans Finzel: http://maninthepew.com/become-great-leader-hans-finzel-mitp040/

Owen Hemsath: http://maninthepew.com/018-how-to-lead-a-thriving-sexy-marriage-with-owen-hemsath/

Tony DiLorenzo: http://maninthepew.com/intimacy-killers-tony-dilorenzo/

RESOURCES:

The Unfair Advantage: (AFFILIATE LINK)

About Harold: http://haroldarnold.com/

Leading You Home Podcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrHaroldArnold/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrHaroldArnold

Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman (AFFILIATE LINK)

How to Exercise Faith in the Face of Uncertainty with Dave Curlee MITP042

How to Exercise Faith in the Face of Uncertainty with Dave Curlee MITP042

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When everything around you is falling, what do you know for sure? How do you exercise faith when everything feels uncertain?

God’s word never fails. God fleshes out his truth in our lives through Jesus’ work on the cross and applies it to our everyday circumstances. He has promised that he will never back down from a promise.

“God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?” (Numbers 23:19)

We do well when we remember his faithfulness to us, especially in those seasons when we know we didn’t deserve it.

Dave Curlee is an ordinary guy. He’s a college dropout who’s been laid off more than once. Yet, his story is made extraordinary as he rehearses the profound ways God has moved throughout his life.

Dave is a model for us all to follow. He remembers the dates and times when God showed up. He tells those stories to his kids, his friends and now he shares them with us.

By listening to Dave, perhaps you can learn to exercise faith as you realize you also have an extraordinary God story (or two or three) to tell.

ABOUT THIS SHOW:

  • Dave rehearses God’s faithfulness in his dating relationship
  • Dave remembers how God provided direction when he was without work
  • Dave recounts how he ignored God’s promptings and then the joyful way God brought a dream into reality with Church Training Academy

HOW TO EXERCISE FAITH IN UNCERTAIN TIMES

#1: Remember God’s promises

If you’re like many, you may start the day by reading God’s word. You know it’s a good thing to do. But do you remind yourself of God’s promises throughout the day. Have you memorized God’s word so you can bring it to mind when you’re in the middle of a stormy conversation with your boss? Do you regularly and systematically rehearse God’s promises that He reveals in scripture? Hopefully, your church helps you in this practice through the systematic reading and preaching of God’s Word.

#2: Rehearse God’s faithfulness to you

Whenever God does something powerful in your life, whether big or small, write it down. Put it somewhere that you can read regularly. Share those stories with your wife, your children, your extended family, your church family, and with anyone willing to listen.

#3: Create visual milestones

Sometimes God does such powerful miracles in our lives that we need to create visual reminders otherwise we might find it to be a fantasy. When Israel crossed the Jordan and entered the promised land, God told them to place 12 large stones as a memorial so everytime they went back to look at it they would see a tribute to God’s provision, protection, and direction as they wandered in the desert for 40 years and then conqured the Promised Land.

The emblem of a cross is a reminder for all of us that Jesus took our sins with him to the cross. We no longer need to make sin offerings because Jesus made the sacrifice once and for all.

What stories do you want to remember about God? What milestone markers can you create for yourself?

ABOUT DAVE CURLEE:

Dave Curlee is the founder of Church Training Academy. He helped produce podcasts for people like Luria Petrucci and Andrew Lock. Learn more about Dave here.

You can also follow his page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheDaveCurlee/

QUOTES & RESOURCES:

Story referenced about Leslie Samuel

[clickToTweet tweet=”Look at what God has done through two college dropouts. @davecurlee” quote=”‘Look at what God has done through two college dropouts.'”]

[clickToTweet tweet=”When everything around you is falling, what do you know for sure? @davecurlee” quote=”‘When everything around you is falling, what do you know for sure?'”]

“If you’re not obedient with what God has shown you to do, he may orchestrate things in your life so that’s the only thing you can do.”

[clickToTweet tweet=”‘If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.’ -2 Timothy 2:13 (ESV)” quote=”‘If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.’ -2 Timothy 2:13 (ESV)”]